From Joe to Katy

Dear Katy Perry,

I was so fucking excited distraught when I heard of your impending divorce from Cro-Magnon Tool Brit comedian ass-clown Russell Brand. When I had heard a few months back that you were taking a break from the spotlight to start a family with him, I was scared this would be the result. I mean, who could honestly live with that man? I'm glad you learned this lesson after 14 months and not three years from now when everyone had already lost their celebrity wedding bets. It's better this way.

Really? HIM???

Yes, it's better that you asked him to divorce you so that it wouldn't upset your religious parents sensibilities. (And that everyone found out about it.) No need to ruin your perfect public image.

Yes. That public image.

Finally Katy, I want you to know something: It's going to be okay. I'm here for you.

Because I would still totally hit that.

The (music) Video Store: Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night"

Sheer Cotton Candy

Hey guess what? Katy Perry just released a new music video... and I found myself at least somewhat amused by it. After the disappointment that came with "E.T." (when paired with Kanye, coincidence perhaps?), Perry has chosen "Last Friday Night" to be her newest visual aide from Teenage Dream. Taking the setting of an 80's teen comedy, "Last Friday Night" features Perry as a dorky, unattractive and poorly put-together teen who has a crazy night when her neighbor throws a wicked party. But why am I explaining a music video's plot? Just watch. I've got all eight minutes of the video below.



While there are plenty that will (and often do) complain about Perry, her music or her style, I can't help but be entertained by her. While Lady Gaga videos are that mouthwatering foreign delicacy that you wound up ordering, Perry's entries are pure cotton candy. Sure they're airy and won't fill you up, but they come in bright colors and taste of pure sugar. Sometimes you don't want to be adventurous, sometimes you just want fun and "Last Friday Night" definitely fills that void.

Watch it, if only for the somehow fugged-up Perry and the cameos from Kenny G. (you read that right), Corey Feldman, Debbie Gibson and Hanson.

Please get hot.