Judge Nerdd: Prometheus

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.

We finally have another installment in the Alien universe. But was it worth the wait? In my several discussions with friends and contemporaries in my short time since seeing Ridley Scott's Prometheus at midnight, I keep going back to one word to describe the film: muddled. But before I run through all my criticisms, there are some clear positives.

Visually the film is stunning. I could even notice several parts where seeing it in 3-D would have been a desirable experience. Michael Fassbender is fantastic (as always) as the android David, who is the first of his kind. Noomi Rapace has chilling moments as Elizabeth Shaw, fighting her way through sequences that will likely leave you cringing or heartbroken for her. Idris Elba, as always, is too school for school as the ship's captain. Charlize Theron gets in on the fun as the corporate pitbull Vickers. And let's not forget Guy Pearce, who for some reason was cast as the old man Peter Weyland instead of an actual old man.

There are plenty of call-backs to the original flicks, ranging as far as the "We are leaving!" exclamation to the film's sign-off that is unabashedly the same as Alien. Some of them work seamlessly into the film while others feel contrived as a way to give Prometheus a similar aura. Scott caves (likely at the hands of the studio) into giving a sequel-teasing tag-on at the end of the flick. I cannot tell you how forced that scene felt to me. It went on for WAY too long and was utterly unnecessary. And now the evolution of the xenomorph makes no sense to me.

***Now for the questions to which I'd like answers. If you haven't seen it, avoid this next paragraph. I'm gonna spoil the crap out of some parts.***

SPOIL ZONE

How the hell does PILOT Idris Elba know what everything is before all the SCIENTISTS do? After racing back to the ship, Elba's Janek walks right into a room with our main character and spells out everything there is to know about the ruins and its contents with little explanation as to how he possibly came into this knowledge. So it's a biological weapon? And they wanted to send it to Earth? But it turned on them so they buried it here? Uh... okay. 'Cause you shouldn't really know any of that.

That wasn't the only odd character development we saw either. Don't ask me why Noomi was willing to go along with the recently revealed old man (who clearly has an "evil" vibe) just for the sake of seeing this new life form. Whether she was "seeking answers" or not, I feel like she should have sat that out. (Not to mention she probably would have needed to, judging from the fact that she just had major surgery. But it's the future. Whatever.) And speaking of David, why DID he poison Holloway? I can only assume it's because they wanted a quick way to figure out what the black goop was, but that was extraordinarily unexplained.

And why does the Engineer have to get right up out of bed and start killing everything? It seemed like such a convenient horror movie cliche to depend on in order to get the action ramped up. Was that Engineer not in the least curious or willing to speak to his genetic kin once they proved capable of speaking in his language? No? He'd rather just take the black ooze and fly it to Earth? Sure.

It's obvious that that planet was not LV-426 and that was not the ship that the Nostromo discovers on their fateful trip. And the alien showcased at the end of the flick is not the final iteration of the Xenomorph that we saw in the previous installments. So it's very clearly a series of movies being planned. Now instead of one film, I need three to get me to where Alien picks up? Somehow that alien needs to be taken off the planet by another Engineer's ship which then has to crash land on LV-426. Hey 20th Century Fox, I know how your final movie needs to end. Do you wanna pay me to write it?

SPOIL ZONE ENDED

THE VERDICT

Ultimately, Prometheus is probably a solid movie, apart from the (sometimes major) plot gaps. It looks gorgeous, has a eerie feel to it, and has a tremendous cast of actors that fill their roles to the best of their ability. However, the movie gets bogged down and falls short of its own lofty expectations, which are heavily tied to the franchise of which it is now a part. I'm sorry, but I can't treat it as a standalone entry. It takes too many nonsensical jumps in plot and character motivation to be a great movie and is weighed down by its desire to be approachable by the non-Alien crowd while satiating the hardcore fans.

Am I being too hard on Prometheus? Probably. Do I feel bad about it? Not really. It should have been better. For someone who is deeply entrenched in the Alien lore and mythos, I came away from Prometheus sorely disappointed. I find it to be an amazing achievement that Scott gets lost up the ass of his own mythology. If you can get past those connections (or don't care about them), then I would recommend the theater trip. 


Nerdd judgement rendered! I AM THE LAW!