Alright Chicago Nerds, your annual Mecca has returned to Rosemont. If you've been there before, you might think you know how to best maneuver the chaos, but you could probably use a refresher. If you've never had your Wizard World cherry popped, then follow these rules closely. (They've been provided by three experts: Me, my brother and my sister.) You're welcome.
Ask to see something expensive/breakable out of its box first.
Because nothing's shittier than spending $100 on a sexy Poison Ivy statue only to discover that her hand is broken off. Look at it before you buy it.
Anyone in costume will gladly take one with you.
But do you really need a picture with overweight Superman? Also, avoid walking in front of someone else's photo.
Check the schedule.
If you want to get a comic signed, need to see a panel, or want to know when Patrick Stewart is signing, be sure to plan your day ahead of time and look at the handy schedule of events. Lines form early for most events, especially the ones you want to attend,
Gauge your price points ahead of time.
If you can get it on Amazon for $40, don't pay more than $50 for it at the convention. Know your breaking points on any collectible you're looking for and save yourself money in the long run.
Go in the vintage porn booth if you want.
Seriously. Loitering outside of it isn't fooling anyone. Just go in and browse like a man.
Pay for parking on your way in.
Trust me. They'll be a hella-line on your way out.
Try not to buy anything on your first pass-through.
Because you might see that Wonder Woman bust for $60 at one booth, but you'll likely see it for $45 three booths down after you impulsively buy it. Take a photo or write a note to remember where/what you wanted and head back there if you don't see it for cheaper.
Autographs cost money.
Why else do you think all these "celebrities" show up? Old retired wrestlers don't just show up to shake hands with their 40-year old fans. They get straight-cash homie.
Don't stop in the middle of an aisle.
I don't care if you HAVE to get a picture of silver-haired minx in the Black Cat costume. Other people are going to held up because you just nerd-gasmed.
Hot chicks that talk to you are trying to give/sell you something.
If they're in costume, it's a 50/50 proposition. But if they're in a cute nerdy t-shirt and jeans with a stack of something in their palm? They're going to smile and hand it to you.
Pack a lunch.
Why waste valuable money on overpriced convention center grub? Three days of 5 dollar hots dogs and 3 dollar sodas is a lot of dough. Spend that money on what you came for. Nerd shit.
Wear comfortable shoes.
This one is pretty obvious.
You're not selling your comic collection here.
Most dealers are looking to unload, not bring home a new inventory. That entire run of Grant Morrison's JLA should stay at home. Besides, that's too much heavy lifting.
Don't make your girlfriend/boyfriend come unless she legitimately wants to go.
Otherwise they're just going to be annoying and slow you down.
Backpack it.
If you are planning on getting more than a few comic books, a tiny messenger bag just won't cut it. Bring a backpack and maybe pack an earth-friendly tote bag. Otherwise you'll be making frequent drop-offs at the car.
Brace for nasal impact.
'Cause some nerds smell.
Wear deodorant.
'Cause you prolly smell.
Bring cash.
Some booths do take credit cards, but a healthy stack of green is advised.
Any other tips? Share them below!
. So what are you waiting for?
